A Rude Awakening
by Penelope Vert
Summary: Sequel to The Dangers of Peeking.  Iruka and Kakashi attempt to teach Naruto about the facts of life with a little help from Sasuke.  KakashixIruka slight implied NaruxSasu.


Title: A Rude Awakening

Format: This is just a oneshot - sequel to _The Dangers of Peeking_

Pairings: IrukaxKakashi/KakashixIruka

Rating: **M**

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim any right to the _Naruto _series... _Oh, but if I did!_

Warnings: Rated for some swearing and sexual content - please do not read if you find this sort of thing to be offensive, especially with an all-male cast.

A/N: Massive thanks to all who have reviewed any of my stories so far! A couple of you wondered how 'the talk' with Naruto would go (if you don't know what I mean, go and read _The Dangers of Peeking_ first!) and I couldn't help but have a go. Some of it feels a bit weak to me, especially my overuse of ellipses (dammit!) but it was too fun an idea not to write, so I hope you enjoy it. As always, any feedback is most gratefully welcomed - thanks!

* * *

Thrrrrump…. Thrrrrump…. Thrrrrump.

A yawn hung in the mid-morning air, passed between the tired faces of two of Konoha's finest. All eyelids drooped over the tattoo rapped on Iruka's living room desk by an apparent and complete lack of inspiration, coupled with the serious need to think – and fast. After some serious thought it had been obvious, really: the choice between taking Jiraiya's advice (undoubtedly the result of some questionable home experimentation) or facing Godaime's self-satisfied grin, waiting for answers, was a no-brainer. Kakashi had duly supplied as much cold rice water as he could lay his hands on, in fact Iruka had been under more threat of inhaling the stuff than of failing to cure his eye. The couple now sat trying to think of a way to meet Tsunade's recent challenge.

_Which one of you is going to explain this to Naruto?_

The Hokage's voice was a dull thud beating down the wall of Iruka's skull, an ache in the ear of Kakashi. It was astonishing to see how quickly such a private moment had started to feel public – too public; three people was one person too many and there were at least five who now knew about their 'activities'. The struggle for now was somehow to come up with a way to relate things to Naruto with the least possible amount of embarrassment. Sex education was no problem, the 'family talk' was no problem but it was the inevitable adding of two and two that held the blood in Iruka's cheeks. He was not ashamed of his relationship but felt that there are private and public lives which should retain some degree of separation. He was just grateful that it wouldn't become any more public.

"Hmmm," Iruka sighed, "we could just stick on that old sex ed. video they had when we were younger?" he suggested for the eighth time.

"Old is just about the right word… and it only covers a third of the possibilities. If we show him that then he'll _definitely_ think I've perverted you."

"Good point. They really should get a new one of those."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows, hopefully.

"Don't even think about it. I am NOT making a sex video."

"Hmph," Kakashi sulked, "not even for me?" he pouted, jokingly.

"Lets just say certainly not for Naruto… we'll come back to that later…"

"So… no crappy video, no sexy video… how about the good old banana talk?"

"Hmm… I don't really want to confuse Naruto with the whole fruit/sex thing – they brought a massive one into our class. I wouldn't want to risk sending Naruto off the rails like Mizuki. Looking back, his power issues all make sense…"

"What? Did you…?"

"God no! Mizuki was the only one in the class to blanch at the words 'and yours should look something like this'!"

"Aaaahaha. Good."

"Oooh I never saw you as the jealous type, Kakashi."

"Well, I have to be flawed somewhere…"

"Haha, well I'll take it as a compliment… but back to Naruto…"

"Ooh! I could lend him a couple of my favourite books."

"Again, not _quite_ what I think we're looking for…"

"What's wrong with them?"

"Although…"

"Iruka?"

"Can you draw?"

"What?"

"Can you draw?"

"Er… kinda."

"Excellent."

"Irukaaaa….?"

* * *

"Pfffft! Hahahaha!"

"I know, I know… it looks like an ear…"

Midday busied itself between Kakashi and Iruka's nestled heads, the lines of a 'masterpiece' inking their messy way across the page on the gnarled desk below. The years in the classroom and the years out in the field were washed away as the two nins stood on level ground: they were both as bad as each other. As the hours and minutes crept by, daylight slipping across the room, a blood-faced Iruka stood, posed by Kakashi. His lingering form in the doorway had brought some improvement to the jounin's anatomical representations but was mostly for show. His crimson face released a sigh from his thumping heart, relieved that his quick move to compromise had kept him from standing with his naked body presented to the world outside. Clothes had never felt quite so comforting to Iruka as they did now as he made a mental note to get some curtains. This relief did not last long, however, as the front door flew open, shaking Iruka from his 'seductive' pose. The brief smirk in Sasuke's eye as he stalked across the room, told Iruka that he had not been quite fast enough. Sasuke turned from Iruka as he reached the desk, allowing his former sensei some privacy in which to wish the ground would swallow him and the ridiculous pose he knew had been a bad idea but had been unable to say 'no' to because, well, lets face it, this is Kakashi here… Alert as ever, Kakashi had pulled his mask on before the door had quite begun to fly open. He turned his back to the desk and his head toward Sasuke, his one uncovered eye arched in a smiling salutation.

"Aah, Sasuke-kun! How nice of you to drop by!"

Kakashi's warm yet elusive greeting was met by a cold, dark stare.

"I know what you're doing," was Sasuke's response, the slow smashing of a rock against Kakashi's brain.

"Oi, hold on there, Sasuke-kun. What do you mean you -" Iruka's now composed voice faded, seeing he had no impact against the unmoving nin.

Sasuke was a wall, unblinking, turning away only when he felt his work was done. He stalked off without another word. At the sound of the door turning back on its hinges, Kakashi swept around in his seat at grabbed the nearest pen.

"What the hell was all that about?" Iruka's bemused demand accompanied by the echoed rustling of Kakashi's thoughts on the page.

"Maa… more hair… good… shorter…no, a little more… that's it…"

"Kakashi?"

Iruka recognised Kakashi's expression from his own marking sessions and knew that nothing would make it through the barrier of electric concentration until it had run its course. Instead he took up his post behind Kakashi, maximising contact but minimising interference. Iruka let his hands explore Kakashi's chest as he closed his eyes and drank in the jounin's body. Filling his chest with Kakashi's scent, he allowed his eyes to flicker open over the page.

"Maa, Iruka… you don't have to stop, you know," Kakashi groaned.

"Er, Kakashi… you do realise that looks like…" Iruka's hands gripped at Kakashi's top as his eyes widened.

"Ah, yes… hnn, it's like this: unless we want Naruto to find out about your eye too early and at the wrong hands, we need to comply with Sasuke's demands."

"Demands…? Oh. Ooh! Oi! Watch where you put that pen!"

"Don't worry, Iruka, I'll take good care of your stationery…"

"It's not the stationery I'm worried about!"

"Aaah, well then, I'll take extra care of you, too, mmmmmmm"

"That's not the poinnnnnngt! Tchaammmph! Mmmmm!"

* * *

The day waned into a late warmth, lingering over the rooftops of Konoha. Naruto's lively steps echoed the thoughts in his head, their frantic pace tumbling toward Iruka's invitation and his doorstep. Inside, Iruka's stomach shifted with uneasy anticipation, his fingers flicking over the pages he and Kakashi had managed to bring together. Kakashi slouched himself into a chair, leaving Naruto space next to Iruka's guiding presence. Naruto scrambled through the doorway in his usual unannounced disorder, heading straight for Iruka.

"Irukaaaa-senseeeeei!" the blonde cried as he tangled himself in a messy pivot.

"Kakashi-sensei…?"

"Yo, Naruto-kun!"

"Ah, heh, ano… Naruto, Kakashi is here today to help me explain a few things to you."

Naruto scrunched his face up in suspicion.

"Hnnnn… is there ramen?"

"Later, Naruto, but this is important," Iruka tried to sooth.

"Ooooh is it a powerful new jutsu?"

"Not exactly…" Iruka felt himself moving into a corner.

"But it _is_ just as good… no, maybe better," Kakashi chipped-in.

"Kakashi, that _isn't_ helping!"

"Aaaah no way – a super new all-powerful ramen-jutsu!!!!!!"

"No! Look, just come and sit here, Naruto," Iruka's academy voice kicked into action as he motioned to the empty seat beside him, handing him the sacred volume he and Kakashi had poured their heart and soul into. Well, ten hours, at least.

"Ano… Naruto… as people grow up, their bodies start to change," Iruka began.

"Hnnn," Naruto's face still retained his earlier suspicion, his hands gripping the pages between them.

"So, if you'd like to take a look on page one… you'll see something that _should_ look quite familiar," Iruka continued, still shaking with nerves but starting to breath normally.

"Aaahahahaha!"

"Well, er, just try and picture it."

"Is that an ear, sensei?"

"Ano…" Iruka stroked his blushing scar, "noo… can you think what else it might be?"

"… aah….oh!" understanding struck Naruto speechless in the embarrassed tension.

"Soo… you've said before that you love Sakura…"

"Saaaaakuraa-chaaan!"

"Er, yes… well, when a man and a woman love each other," Iruka's responsible-academy-hat sat firmly upon his scarlet head, "they erm… well, er page six should give you a good idea."

Naruto's silence was sacred and Iruka seized his moment to continue.

"So, you can look at pages seven to eighteen in your own time… got a bit carried away…"

"Iruka-sensei?"

"Ano… that's a good start but what we'd like to talk about is a bit further on."

Naruto glanced a quizzical eye over the unflinching Kakashi before returning his focus to a shaking Iruka and his homemade love manual.

"Page twenty-two should show you Jiraiya-sama's ideal data gathering target – or I suppose that should be targets, since there _are_ three of them."

"Is this one of ero-sennin's perverted books?"

"Moving on to page twenty-five will give you another example of how two people can express their love for one another," Iruka continued in his most responsible voice. _He can learn about one night stands later… lets introduce one concept at a time…_ "If you combine page three with page twenty-four, that should help…"

"But that's… and they're…" Naruto's eyes and open mouth grew in simultaneous wonder and shock.

"Do… do _men_ really do _that_? To _each other_?

"When they're in love." _Or just horny as fuck. Dammit, having Kakashi spread over my furniture was never going to help._

Something in Naruto's face told he was catching-on as he looked between Iruka and Kakashi with a mixture of curiosity and disbelief.

"So you two…?"

"That's right, Naruto."

Naruto fixed two bright blue slits upon Kakashi.

"You're sure you're not just using Iruka-sensei to get out of reports?" he demanded.

"Hehe, do you really think he'd let me?"

Naruto's partial shock proved to be a source of relief to Iruka. Conversation was able to run more smoothly and with his head slowed, Naruto had made none of the usual signs that he was about to go crazy, bringing a fleeting moment of calm to the room. The stillness was broken sharply by the door swinging wide on its hinges as a dark figure stalked his way across.

"I left my shuriken here… or something," Sasuke's thinly veiled excuse put up no defences.

"Sasuke," Naruto began, "did you know…?" he trailed off to a smiling pause, Sasuke's presence a pleasant reminder of some of the pictures in the volume.

Naruto's vacant pause was not lost on Sasuke, who seized control of the moment, grabbing the comic and inspecting it with a critical eye.

"Hah! You never were very good working from a textbook – I can't imagine how you managed to understand anything from that juvenile scrawl! I'll take it from here," Sasuke called back, already on the move with Naruto in-tow.

"I recommend page twenty-seven – but make sure you have lots of space," Kakashi called after, his raised eyebrows evident in the tone of his voice.

The slam of the door was a jolt of consciousness into Iruka's hazy and wandering mind.

"Should… should we _really_ be trusting Naruto to him?" Iruka's voice shook a little, with concern.

"Should Naruto _really_ be trusting you with _me_?" Kakashi's softly laughing voice moved through Iruka as he slipped across to reposition his slump next to the chuunin.

"Haha! Good point!" Iruka stretched himself diagonally over the arm of the seat.

"Mmmm, too easy a target to resist!" Kakashi warned, launching himself on top of his unsuspecting prey, eyes wild with increasing hunger.

"Or maybe you're just too easy a target to reel in?" Iruka's voice toed the line between truth and bluff, refusing to give himself away.

"Either way, I appear to have the advantage," Kakashi grinned, _and I intend to make full use of it._

"This is true… but while you're busy thinking what to do next, I'm already looking for a way to turn the tables," Iruka laughed.

"Maybe I already know what I want to do with you," Kakashi's face erupted into a full grin as he pulled his mask down.

"Well if you can find a way to _fit_ page thirty-four _in_, I wouldn't object!" Iruka groped Kakashi with his eyes.

"Thirty-four? You can be _full_ of surprises, Iruka, can't you?" Kakashi licked his teeth.

"Among _other things_, I hope," their eyes locked.

"Well then just maybe you'd like to _release_ some of that creativity… and help me make a sequel?" Kakashi began to nibble Iruka's neck and ear.

"Hmm, now that all depends," Iruka's breath was hot in his lover's ear, "do we get to finish it in peace or is Jiraiya going to turn up out of the blue this time?" their laughter beat against each other's chests.

"Maa, at least we know it won't be Naruto."

"No more names, Kakashi. Just you, for a while."

"Mmmm, I thought you'd never ask!"

Kakashi buried his face in Iruka's neck, his lips stroking shivers from the tanned body beneath. Iruka used what movement he could to get his hands against the cool, smooth skin of the body against his, lifting Kakashi's top and loosening his trousers to gain further purchase. The silver haired jounin exhaled with increasing heaviness, shifting to return the favour and strip his caresser. The two nins fought against the awkwardly angled position they had found themselves in, fending-off stray elbows, fists and garments, finally to reach an exhausted state of semi-nakedness – underwear remained as the final incentive to make it through to the bedroom and enough space for page thirty-four to realise itself. During the struggle, Iruka had managed to flip Kakashi backwards and underneath him but not without sacrificing his fair tie to the swift and agile shinobi; his dark hair now fell forward, teasing the porcelain skin below with the lightest of touches as his lips and fingertips hungrily traced their reach. Kakashi strained under the pleasure that proved itself most evident to Iruka, who took even more pleasure from taking his time to torment him. The jounin could not hold back for long and shortly lifted his partner and regained his footing, bringing them to a standing embrace. Kisses passed hastily between them, hands following suit and they absently groped across the floor, in a single direction: the bed. The lovers fell down beside each other but Kakashi made short work of claiming his place above Iruka. A head of fine, silver hair was fresh sweat and herbs and something unmistakeably Kakashi, full in the lungs of the chuunin now being tamed by a skilful tongue across his chest. Iruka's hands spoke their reply across Kakashi's back, slipping down to help remove the now unwanted underwear and to take hold of his lovers increasing state of arousal.

"Hah… just mind your eye this time," Kakashi grinned, looking up into Iruka's eyes, between kisses, "nnnnngh! Hhhow do you do that to me?!"

"Why don't you let me show you?" Iruka's dark eyes beckoned, in contrast to his crimson cheeks.

Sitting up, Iruka took Kakashi's lips and heavy breaths into his own, his one free hand fixed in his lover's hair, mirroring the two in his own. Their bodies shifted to switch position, Kakashi leaning face up into Iruka, all clothing finally discarded with a renewed anticipation, to allow freer access and a fully locked gaze. Their eyes continued down, mutually enjoying the view slide its way into exhilaration, aching and growing with each moment. Iruka took hold of his lover, a steady stroke with a slight turn evoked guttural moans from his charged body as he let the bed break his fall, rolling his eyes back in his head as the blood began to leave it. A second later, Kakashi's eyes darted back to the ceiling and he clapped a frustrated hand over his face, with a single exclamation of disbelief.

"FUCK!"

"What is it?" Iruka froze in fear and concern.

"Sorry guys, I couldn't resist," came the familiar voice from behind them, accompanied by a soft thud on the floor, "Iruka's arse is just too cute!"

Iruka's body was suddenly red with embarrassment and a rage that flared in a tangible surge of chakra and his body tightened at every angle as the shadowed figure behind made a wise dash to the open door.

"Oooooiii!" came Iruka's livid war-cry, "damn it, Jiraiya, next time you try this I'm using vinegar and then we'll see how far farming dead frogs gets you!" he bellowed, narrowly missing the sannin with a chakra-filled pillow that wouldn't fly quite fast enough.

Iruka released his grip slowly, bringing his hands up to push back his hair and anger with a deep sigh. Kakashi's soft breathing brought his attention back to the room. The chuunin stroked his lover's chest to soothe himself.

"You know," Kakashi ventured, "I don't know whether to be more turned on or more afraid!" he spoke with a hesitant laugh.

"You didn't let him in here did you?" Iruka asked, his thighs tightening, remembering his former rage.

"You think I want to share that view with anyone else?" Kakashi defended, moving his arms protectively over Iruka's body.

Iruka smiled, leaning in to whisper his hot, sweet breaths over Kakashi's ear, his hands poised to resume their agonising thrill.

"Then turned on is fine… just fine."

* * *

THE END! 


End file.
